Women's Empowerment: Hone for the Holidays How to Transform Your Family Dynamics

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Hone for the Holidays How to Transform Your Family Dynamics

By Steve Truitt

When Adam Sandler was still on Saturday Night Live back in the 90s, he did a fantastic bit during the Weekend Update News in which he had his father record the appearance on the VCR because he wouldn’t be able to make it home that year for Thanksgiving. He brought out a huge plate of food and began to eat and mimic listening to the people around the table as if he were there. It started off tame, but pretty soon it got contentious: “No Ma, I didn’t say that… Ma, she’s lying! Dad stay out of this… no I won’t shut up, Dad, you’ve been keeping me down too long! The tide’s turning old man!” At this point he burst into tears and screamed “I’M GAY!”

It was hysterical for a late night comedy show, but, sadly, all too common in families around the country.

So how is it that the season of celebration, joy, giving and family has become the time of the year that is most stressful? The answer is in Sandler’s Thanksgiving piece: He knew what was coming and he was waiting for it.

As family members, we know each other better than anyone else – foibles, flaws, failures and more. And the hope that maybe this year things will be different turns to anger, distance and resentment when that one button gets pushed and nothing has changed at all. Even in the closest of families – the least dysfunctional – expectations of unity, peace and holiday spirit can be instantly dashed at the moment a family member’s annoying habit poisons our perfect holiday scenario.

Here are the three things you can do this holiday season to hone your family relationship skills and make your holiday gatherings a more positive experience:

1. Limit your exposure: If you know that a certain amount of time spent with a family member gets your blood boiling, then simply plan to spend less time with them. Get in, get out and get on with your life.
2. Practice forgiveness: If you’re carrying any unresolved resentment into a particular situation, you’re planning to have a fight. You’re not going to fix or change this person – especially not during the holiday. So let it go, forgive their past offenses – and suspend your own judgment of them – and see if you can remember what you love about them. Focus on their good attributes. Let’s face it – who among us is perfect?
3. Visualize a great time: Before you spend time with your friends or relatives, take five minutes and visualize yourself driving or flying home from the visit feeling good about it and happy that you spent time with them. Take that peaceful energy into the situation and you will look for ways to create it while you’re there.


We can’t choose our families, but we can choose to accept them for who they are, and allow ourselves to be who we are at the same time. Your holiday is not recorded on videotape – at least not in its entirety! It’s yours to create -- any way you choose. This year choose to be the change you want to see in the family. Be forgiveness, be joy… BE MERRY!

Happy Holidays!

Steve Truitt is a life coach and the founder of Parent Parachute. His radio show is "The Bottom Line," which can be heard every Wednesday on Healthy Life Radio. He is the author of Stop Waiting For Permission! His website is www.stevetruittcoaching.com.

Go tell it! Christmas should be show and tell as writen by songwriter Robin G. Tramble aka empowermentdiva

I was up trying to recall the lyrics to a song I penned
a few years ago and it really concerned me that I couldn't
bring it back or locate the lyrics.

Well, anyone that knows me, knows that once I set my mind to
do something it's done! I felt led to go to my newsletter
to find older postings and aha!! There it was shared with my
subscribers. So.... you know I must share with you. Enjoy!

I'll record it so you can enjoy the music for the next Christmas.
How about that?

Go show it
Lyrics to original song
(c) 2006 Robin G. Tramble

Joy to the world , Joy to the world
Heark the herald Angels sing
In a little town called Bethlehem
Was born a child a King
Oh come let us adore Him
He brings peace and goodwill
Joy to the world, Joy to the world
Let Heaven and nature.... nature sing


Go tell it on the mountain, Over the hills and everywhere
Go tell it on the mountain, Behind the Christmas story
There's Power and Glory
Then Jesus Christ was born
Go tell it on the mountain... Over the hills and everywhere
Go tell it on the mountain that Jesus Christ was born

It was a silent night, a cold, cold night
The carolers did sing
Joy to the world, Joy to the world
But what Joy could it bring
To one woman it's just another night
No food or gifts for her babies in sight
No Joy to her world, Joy to her world
Let heaven and nature.... sing

Go tell it on the mountain, over the hills and everywhere
Go SHOW IT IN THE GHETTO
Everybody needs to know why Jesus Christ was born
Continue chorus

It's time to show and tell, Christmas should be show and tell - repeat
January, Februay, March, April, May
June and July .... everyday
August and September, October and November
Share the love of God more than December
It's time to show and tell, Christmas should be show and tell!


Copyright 2006 Robin Tramble for Trambleco Music Publishing
All Rights Reserved
Written by: Robin G. Tramble

Learn more about the gifts of song, music,songwriting by
The Dynamic Duo Michael and Robin Tramble www.Rentasongwriter.com